tymeless

"Taga-CCP ka diba? O sa Tanghalang Pilipino?" Tito Danny had asked me during our last rehearsal reading of La Cancion del Olvido.

"Ay, hindi po. Lagi lang akong nandun," was my simple reply.

Sometimes I still regret that I passed up the chance to work as SM in Virgin Labfest for the 3rd year in a row. But I guess it's sort of all for the best, due to my given circumstances (mostly because my mom is afraid of being alone in the house, especially at night). I sometimes felt that twinge of envy when I visit CCP and see all the artists and stage managers scrurrying about, while I have to sit through it all (well, at least there's a consolation, hahaha). Plus I didn't get to see all the festivities. I only got to watch one set of plays, which was, of course Set C: Blood Sports.

I went back to CCP last Friday afternoon to watch the very same set again. Of course, I didn't want to take advantage of the fact that I was a CCP/TP/Labfest regular, so of course I purchased a ticket, hahaha. I didn't even tell Tad that I was watching again. Hahaha, I was the very first person in line upon open house, so I could guarantee that I got the bleacher seat that I had preferred.

I was so glad I did watch again, because I noticed new nuances from Mailes in Kitchen Medea. That was one of the best things about watching live theater. You'll never watch the same thing twice, because in time, the actors tend to learn something new about their character as well as about the play that they could use for the next performance. And Mailes had confirmed this during the "Talk Back" session after all 3 plays. It was quite disturbing really, that due to the husband leaving his wife for another woman, the wife ended up losing her children as well because of how the situation drove her crazy.

I had previously blogged that I felt that there were some forgotten lines when I first watched Asawa/Kabit last week. This time, I finally found out that they had forgotten really huge chunks of lines. There were actually not just one (which I saw last week), but 5 "rounds" of the asawa and kabit verbally and physically battling it out. The students who were watching the show were already counting how many times that "boxing bell" rang as the verbal arguments evolved into different catfights ala-Ally McBeal. During one point, there was one kid who asked, "Sino nga ba ang asawa, at sino diyan yung kabit?" Kind of makes you think that it could also be the other way around as well, as you kept listening to the witty dialogue, hahaha. Makikita mo talaga kung paano ang relasyon ng bawat babae dun sa lalaki. I was quite amused by the students because they were becoming more receptive as they got more hooked into watching the plays, because they were more occupied with fiddling with their phones and things during the first play. Respeto naman diyan, please. Nagbayad man kayo o hindi, huwag niyo naman sayangin ang pagpunta ninyo sa teatro. Nakakainsulto sa mga artistang nakatayo sa entablado eh. Ayan tuloy, na-karma yung mga ibang katabi ko dahil nahulog ang mga bag nila sa ilalim ng bleachers.

With the students' bags safely lodged in the darkness underneath our seats, they were more focused in watching Doc Resureccion: Gagamutin ang Bayan. Even though Tad had complained after the show that the platforms were unsteady (because they weren't securely in place) and were distracting him, he and Riki still pulled off a great performance as the 2 lead characters. Dito ko mas nakita yung pagka-ipokrito ni Jess bilang kandidato for mayor. The way he moved around the set was apparent that he was gingerly touching things despite the fact that he was trying to hide the hesitance of actually touching it. And talagang ang baboy talaga ng character ni Boy Pogi, pero ganun lang naman talaga siya eh. At least hindi siya plastic, maski malinis ang itsura ni Jess. The way Boy Pogi put out his cigarette with his tongue made the audience react loudly, and even more when he took Jess' eye out with the fishing hook, spurting blood all over the stage floor (and some on the Writers' Bloc people on the 1st row?).

During the "Talk Back" session after all 3 plays, people were too shy to ask questions, so Rody Vera went ahead and asked the playwrights and directors about how they were inspired to write and direct those plays. Then Lao suddenly spoke up and asked about Doc Resureccion's look of the squatter's area, if it was exaggerated or whatever, because of the uber-madumi feel of the play. Maybe it was intentional to show how dirty politics can be, no matter how much kang magmalinis?

After the show, I went straight to buffeteria to meet Tad, and that's where I found out from Isab that there will be a Fragments vignette (un-announced site-specific performances scattered throughout CCP in between Labfest plays) in that very venue that will begin in a few minutes. So I stayed put while Tad went off to the dressing room. Suddenly the big red "X" (that marks the spot for Fragments) was put in place by the door, and the actress dressed as one of the staff of Barbara's emerged from the kitchen, delivering this monologue about how the food served can be "altered" to sell again if it wasn't bought and consumed that day, hahaha.

I finally got to catch one of those Fragements shows, so thank goodness that I decided to watch again last Friday afternoon.

I just found out that Rich, my former Trumpets Playshop student, watched the same show on the same day, hahaha. Too bad I didn't get to see her. Too many people na rin naman that day, so, oh well.

Nikki had her day off again yesterday, so because we never get sick of CCP, we met up there after my class. We were supposed to hang out at Starbucks in Harbour Square, but because it was too crowded (who the heck were all those people in yellow anyway? Most of them didn't even order and were just sitting there), we stayed at the buffeteria for a while. After we had finished a light snack (a plate of baked macaroni was light for me that day, hahaha), we decided to go back to Starbucks to see if there were already vacant seats. So annoying, the big yellow group was still there, but a middle-aged man was kind enough to offer us a couple of couches because he and his friend were on their way out.

Nix is the type of girl that you can pig out with because she doesn't seem to get fat, hahaha. She even told me recent stories of her PAL experience, which involved buying and eating local stuff of every province that she goes to. Huwaw, a kilo of tuna sashimi for only P300? I can't wait for her next GenSan trip, hahaha!

When the sun had set, we decided to have dinner at good ol' McDonalds, and more talk ensued, including her return to theater when she finally finds the time next year. Haha, she wants to take musical theater workshops again, because she still iffy about taking the beginning acting workshop. Whichever you choose, I can't wait to see you up on that stage again, Nix!

All that talking made me think of trying out something new, which I've only told a handful of people, because it's quite a drastic career change. I still don't see myself enjoying a desk job, anyway. We'll see.

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I got a text from Lawyn yesterday, asking if I could find 4 guest spellers for today's DTR of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. I immediately managed to recruit 4 willing victims--RJ, Dingdong, Rayna and Lara (in that order, hahaha).

After this morning's class, I immediately went straight to RCBC. Got to chill inside the theater for a while until I noticed that they were doing sound checks. Oh my, where were my recruits? Even RJ, who had promised to come very early, had arrived minutes before the rehearsal began, hahaha. Kaloka. Ganun pala ang ibig sabihin ng before the 2pm rehearsal. As in right before talaga. As it turned out, Lara had quite a tough time getting to the venue due to the commute, so Lawyn had to make a contingency plan that involved me as one of the back-up spellers. So I ended up joining the bee along with RJ, Rayna and Dingdong. Gave them a John Moschitta version of the briefing before we went inside the house. Lara arrived a few minutes later, so she ended up just watching the show.

So I ended up being a returning contestant, but because of the pressure that I was a "very good speller" according to Ms. Peretti, I was immediately eliminated, hahaha! It was fun watching the show again, though, and I'm glad my recruits enjoyed the show as well. Thanks again, Atlantis!

Lara, Dingdong, RJ and Rayna.
(My breast friend, my stepson, my syotang bakla, and my fellow early bird.)

For you, yes, YOU reading this blog. If you haven't seen Atlantis Productions' 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, it will run for a limited engagement from July 3 to 12, 2009 at the Carlos P. Romulo Auditorium, RCBC Plaza, Makati, so please come and watch! Call 892-7078 for tickets.

After the show, Lara, Dingdong and I hung out at Kopi Roti to just talk and chill. Yay, thanks for the treat, Dingdong! Hahaha, the "dashing divas" are reunited once again. I love it when the three of us hang out together. No matter how serious, mundane or random our topics of conversation are, witty banter is always expected, be it intentional or not (the latter usually applies to Lara, hahaha).

Kopi Roti with the Divas.
Here's to Harmony's upcoming reading!

tymeless

"Ikaw nga talaga ang kausap ko."
"Talagang tumatanda na tayo. Pareho pa rin ang usapan, pero..."

Nikki and I always try to get together as much as we can, even though it's hard lately because of her crazy flight schedules. Thank goodness she was free so we could watch Breakups and Breakdowns together last night. We both had seen the excerpts at the National Theater Festival together, so we wanted to see it together as well.

Haha, we were half-expecting Nicco to be there as well, because he saw the excerpts with us 5 years ago. Yep, he managed to catch the first act, but had to leave during intermission.

After the show, Nikki and I decided to grab some dinner before heading home, and we decided to look for Nicco just to say goodbye. He ended up joining us at Rai-Rai Ken, even though he already had dinner at Jollibee. Hahaha, I just loved how Nikki got Nicco's bag as assurance that he would come join us, because we both knew Nicco that well.

Man, the last time I was together with these two at the same time was Halloween of 2007. Nix and I had decided to have dinner in Greenbelt, and we invited Nicco as well, who had just got out of Dogeaters rehearsals. Mostly chikahan about Nikki's work, my crazy updates, and of course, the 3 of us delved into the mind of Nicco.

The 3 of us at Cafe Bola, Greenbelt 3.

So there, the three of us were back together, sitting in a booth at Rai-Rai Ken. And those quotes I had written at the beginning of this entry turned up. Because of how long we haven't hung out together, more chika galore. Sometimes we delved into some familiar topics, and we were so amused at how they evolved over the course of time.

With the sister and baby brother I never wanted, hahahaha!
Masaya rin ako at nagkita-kita muli tayo sa mata. Labyu both!

These two are rare gems in my friendship treasure chest. Iba talaga ang saya pag kasama kayo.

Isa pang hirit...

My shoes and Nicco's.
Post-Dogeaters shoes, hahahaha!

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I had seen excerpts of Joel's Breakups and Breakdowns back in 2004 during the National Theater Festival in CCP. So I was really excited to find out that it was part of Virgin Labfest 5's staged readings. It was finally a full play! Well, so it's just a staged reading, but the play is finally complete, hahaha!

Even though the show started at 6pm, I had arrived at CCP by 4:30. Hahaha, I wanted to get there early, maybe hang around and run into some friends who aren't watching the matinee show in Batute. After a quick bite at the buffeteria, I ended up hanging out in the prop room (conveniently adjacent to the Conference Room) with Jo-Ann, Fats and Kuya Jun. Ahehehe, pare-pareho lang na naglalabas ng angst. The cast of Breakups and Breakdowns (Joel, Caisa, Emy, Reuben and Teenee) plus Rony the music man, started trickling in, so Fats, as DSM, had to scurry around to oversee things. I tagged along inside the Conference Room, sometimes listening to the cast rehearse their songs, sometimes just chatting with Fats.

Joel and an usher about reserving seats for Joel's parents...
Joel: (gesturing to seats in the 3rd row) Eto, pa-reserve ito para sa parents ko.
Usher: Yes, sir. Pero sir, ipapamigay po yung seats na yan sa mga late pag hindi po sila darating after ng chimes.
Joel: OK, sure naman na darating sila eh.
Usher: Sure po?
Joel: Oo, sure yan. Magulang ko yan eh. Pag hindi sila darating, magda-drugs ako.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Was the first to fall in line to take a ticket, even though Jo-Ann had allowed me to hang inside the Conference Room prior to the show. Syempre, mabait ako eh, hehehe. Anyway, I decided on taking 2nd row seats instead of sitting in the first row, because I don't want to strain myself looking up the whole time, even though the platforms were only a foot high. Yay, Nikki had arrived a few minutes after open house, and she settled in the seat beside me. It wasn't long until the seats started filling up with familiar faces. They were mostly friends of the cast, people I've worked with and became friends (though mostly just acquaintances) with as well. They totally outnumbered the usual Labfest crowd for this show, ahehehe.

Breakups and Breakdowns intertwined the stories of four individuals and their love/dating lives. Of first dates, serial dating, exes, awkward moments, getting back together or staying friends, and "perfection." Once I listened to the music, I can't really explain, but it's as if you really know that Rony was the one who wrote those songs even if you didn't know it beforehand. And the script was filled with witty repartee, that you can't really help but laugh out loud. Even the music was cleverly written. I love this play that I can't wait for it to really be staged. Congratulations to Joel, Rony, Caisa, Emy, Reubs and Teenee!


I had earlier mentioned that the audience was composed of mostly "non-Labfest goers." Hahaha, the crowd was totally different compared to most of the other shows I had seen in that very venue. Yesterday evening, people were greeting everyone they knew. Loudly. Going everywhere where they found friends. If this was a show by another company, sure, people would still be pretty social, but in a different way. Not naman subdued. Just different. I don't know how to explain it. Basta iba talaga. Maski yung ingay iba eh. Iba yung "chaos," and the performers were different, malamang. That evening, they were mingling with the audience before the show and during intermission. Pag ibang performers ito, most likely they'd be quietly waiting backstage.

I'm not saying it's a bad thing or a good thing. Just different. It's just a weird observation. Hahahaha.

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Because I'm not working as an SM for this year's Virgin Labfest 5, I won't have that "perfect attendance" that I had during the past 2 Labfests, hahaha. But of course, I didn't want to miss Set C: Blood Sports (Trilohiyang Dinuguan), for Tad's play. Tuxqs had casted him and Riki as the 2 leads for Miss Lallie's play, Doc Resureccion: Gagamutin ang Bayan. Considering this is the Tuxqs-Lallie tandem for the 3rd year in the row, I was excited to catch it. Neither Tad nor Tuxqs had given me any inkling about the play aside from the synopsis that was posted in the Labfest schedule.

Caught the 3pm (opening) show last Thursday. First play was Kitchen Medea, a monologue by Kiyokazu Yamamoto, which was directed by Yoshi Tashihisa. Mailes played Medea in the one-woman show. Basically it was about a woman whose husband left her for another woman. In time, her loneliness developed into mild insanity, and she ended up sacrificing her children for the tragic downfall of the other woman.

I was sitting at stage left with Russell during the first play, and I got tired of the view, so I moved to the middle, right in the very first row with Tony, for Asawa/Kabit, written and directed by George. The supposed awkward and frustrating situation of a wife and a mistress meeting for the first time was given a witty treatment. As they compared each other to see which one is better off with the husband, some verbal and even physical catfights ensued. I had actually expected more than one physical catfight, and Tony had confirmed this as he had seen a rehearsal of the play before. What I had noticed was that some of the dialogue kept going around in circles, combined with slight awkward dead air. Did they forget some of their lines?

During the 15 minute intermission after the second play, I noticed the extreme set change which included putting one of the platforms on top of the other. Because of this, Tony and I had decided to transfer to seats 3 rows back so as to save our necks from straining to look up during the whole duration of the third play. Yep, the one I was waiting for, Doc Resureccion. And without bias, Tuxqs and Miss Lallie didn't fail to astound me once again. The play was about 2 cousins running against each other for mayor. One was a doctor who claimed he wanted to change his former hometown, while the other was a local to ruin his cousin's chances to win the election. At first, you wouldn't know who to believe, the decent-looking doctor who claims he means well, or the filthy-looking one who lives off odd jobs and strives to be a janitor. Riki and Tad gave quite riveting performances (ahem, still no bias here, alright?) as Doc Resureccion and Boy Pogi, respectively, plus equally awesome supporting performances by Angeli, Tita Peewee and Crispin Pineda as Elsa, Mang & Pang. Congrats, y'all! Hahaha, the magic of the fishing hook and wire into Riki's eye was instantly revealed to me by Tad after the show.

Last opening day of all Labfest shows today, even though today's set showcases Virgin Labfest 4: Revisited. Congratulations to all the sets' artists!

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Went with Iam to LSGH for Brother Ceci's wake this afternoon. Rosa was supposed to go with us, but unfortunately she couldn't get off work today.

Iam and I decided to meet up at Robinson's Galleria because it's pretty close to LSGH. Because I was already in the mall, I decided to go to Saizen to buy more shrink plastic. Hahaha, it's still a sinful place to spend your money, so I just focused on the shrink plastic. I was surprised to see other kinds of packs aside from the various ones I bought before. Now they had the plain white plastic, plus sheets bigger than the A4 size. Iam found me in the stationery section where the shrink plastic was found, and she was pretty amused by the store that we decided to browse and window shop for a while so she could check out the other goodies. After paying for my purchases, we suddenly had this craving for Japanese food, so we ended up in Teriyaki Boy.

Lara happened to be running errands in the same mall during that time, so she joined us for lunch. Yay, one of my best friends meet my "breast friend," hahaha.

Parted ways with Lara after lunch, and Iam and I hopped on a jeep to LSGH. Hahaha, we got off and entered at the wrong gate because I missed seeing the gate I used to enter before. It didn't matter anyway, as the guard immediately pointed us to the chapel.

It occurred to Iam and me that ever since we knew Brother Ceci, we have never seen him don the black or the white habit whenever we saw him in person, haha. Every time we see him--during our recollection, at the Campus Ministry in 6th grade, and even during and after college--he was always in civilian attire. It was always a casual event whenever we got to see each other.

I met Brother Ceci in 5th grade, as he was the facilitator during our recollection that year. Rosa, Iam and I were just getting pretty close during that time, because I remember once writing in my diary (hahaha) that day that I didn't have much friends in the class because most of my messages during the activities came from Rosa and Iam. Yes, I was a very shy and reserved kid back then. Brother Ceci had seen our trio grow from the very beginning. In 6th grade, he was Zobel's Campus Minister, so our trio got hung out in the Campus Ministry with him during every other recess and lunch periods. He even let us read and borrow his huge book on sign language, plus doodle on his blackboard in the office. I remember that he sometimes called me "Apple," which was my nickname at home, and I didn't mind if he was the only one that called me that.

When I was tranferring to CSB for my 2nd year of college, Brother Ceci was one of the first people I told, because I knew he taught the deaf students there. Unfortunately, I never got to see him around, except this one time when my YFC sister Me-anne invited me to attend the noon mass in the school chapel with her. I noticed this familiar man sitting with the deaf people. I knew it was him, and I immediately ran over to give him a hug as soon as the mass was over.

The next time I saw Brother Ceci was when he was back in Zobel. It was on the night that I saw Godspell, and he was one of the people sitting in the lobby table. He had asked me, "When will I get to see YOU onstage?" And my only reply was, "Soon." And it never happened.

The very last time I saw him was the day of PJ and Joy's wedding, January 23rd of this year. Because the wedding was in Alabang, a bunch of us wondered if we could visit Zobel as well. I immediately texted Brother Ceci, as our trio had been planning to meet with him there for months, but we never got to follow through. It was the perfect opportunity. We spent quite a while sitting with him in the school's theater lobby as he shared stories about the students and alumni, who had come to Brother Ceci in need of a listening ear. He talked about the kids in Zobel that he saw grow up, on the outside as well as inside. He reminded me of my own "human diary" moments with my friends.

In my blog entry for that day, I wrote: Hahaha, Iam and I quipped that hopefully next time we see him, we have our own story we can tell him that he can share with the kids who are dying to listen to him.

We never got to tell him our stories. He never got to see me while I was doing what I loved the most. I'll miss you, Brother Ceci. My next theater endeavor will be a tribute to you. I'm so glad that Iam had insisted on going to Zobel last January so we could hang out and talk to you.

*Photos courtesy of Iam and Raffy.

tymeless

I had to go to South Mall this afternoon to buy a Father's Day gift for my dad from Mom and me, and figured it's a perfect opportunity to check The Bead Shop. I was told that I could buy earring wire there if ever I don't want to trek all the way to Divisoria.

First stop was The Bead Shop kiosk. I asked the lone guy there if they really do sell earring wire, but unfortunately, they ran out of stocks that day, even though they really do sell them. Darn. So I headed for the department store for Dad's gift.

I was hunched over my phone for a few moments while walking when I heard somebody call my name. It was Jen, a friend I had met through DLSZ's production of Oliver when I was in 7th grade and she was in 6th. My goodness, it's been ages since I last saw her, and we managed to catch up on each others news in the middle of the department store. After quite a while of chit chat, we parted ways and I finally found Dad's gift.

I had sent text messages to a couple of friends asking if there was a Bead Shop in Festival Mall (the next nearest mall), and I was waiting for a reply so I decided to walk around South Mall for a while. I ended up in the back part of the mall, and I found this small store called Pink Box that sold accessories and personalized charms. Hmmm... I saw a display of earrings, so I decided to check it out. I asked them if they also sold earring wire, and yes, they do sell those! Yay! It was P10 for a pair, so I guess that was alright. They only had 2 pairs of the silver, so I got both plus some gold pairs. I took out my shrink plastic earring designs (2 kinds of Greek theater masks) and asked if the wire links would fit. Hahaha, the girl I talked to actually offered to assemble it with no extra charge, and even let me have a bunch of extra wire hoop links for free as well. I was so grateful that I bought a bunch of hairbands, hair-ties and clips from their store (well, I needed those anyway, hahaha).

My goodness, I really must buy more shrink plastic. I think those earrings and some pendants would make great gifts to give and sell. Hahaha, if it weren't for Reggie, I wouldn't have discovered this crazy addiction, hahahaha!

Speaking of Reggie, I saw in her blog that she wrote an article for her US-based cousin's own blog about the successful woman. I totally love the article. Check it out through the link below.

How I Quit My Job to Follow My Dream, by Reg Silva.

It was another inspiring article, much like the "Sayang Siya" blog entry I posted about in my previous post. I also could relate to this one, even though the difference was that Reggie was a fresh college grad when she started to work for that big broadcasting network, while I had simply put school on hold to work for one of the country's leading theater companies. In the beginning, I was super excited when I first started working, because the company was doing a really popular Disney Broadway production. I learned the production side of the theater real fast, even though I first did some odd stuff here and there, plus answering these weird questions over the phone (such as "What show dates will [*insert celebrity here*] perform in?"). I was having a blast while I was getting to know all these, plus learning how to charm (Huwat? HAHAHAHA) marketing representatives so their company can be our sponsor, then being one of the first to check out all those sponsorships, hahaha. I also got to meet theater biggies (even though I sometimes just smile at them in the lobby as I hand them their complimentary tickets), both in the local scene and even abroad (I can't believe I got to sit in a car next to a Broadway Asia producer and a Phil-Am playwright). But of course, we were working 7 days a week, and we went home really late during show days, then report back to the office the following morning.

After 3 years worth of productions, everything just felt mechanical. I resigned from the company to be a full-time student again, and to finally finish my college degree. I agree with what Reggie said, "resigning felt like a breath of fresh air." People noticed that I seemed different after that. Happier (pareho rin tayo, Reg, hahaha), according to some. So I went back to school, and worked freelance backstage, which was what I loved the most, but never had enough time for before. OK, of course I still loved acting so I kept going to workshops, and even tried my hand at thesis productions, which I still participate in even until now. I found more room for my own creativity, though I don't think I'm not yet going to cut it like what Reggie did, hahaha. But I'll just keep doing what I love, and who knows where I'll find myself.

"I took a leap of faith," Reggie had said. Tama nga naman siya.

tymeless

During my regular blog-hopping, I stumbled upon this entry from someone's blog that pondered on the phrase, "Sayang siya." We've heard these words several times already, and even uttered those words about someone, and sometimes, it's about us.

I can totally relate to this. I'm one of those "sayang siya" cases myself, having stopped school just because the opportunity of working in Atlantis was offered. Sayang daw because I should've been a college graduate first, and that I could've gotten a better, high-paying job soon after that. Most of the people who say I'm sayang are from my family, which is not really a surprise. One aunt even asked me, "Ano kaya kung mag-nursing ka na lang? Mas marami ka pang kikitain pag nurse ka." But did she even try to ask if I wanted to be a nurse? Pfft.

But I have to agree with Grace. To quote: "I hope that this phrase would be eradicated from the minds of people [I am trying to eradicate it from mine!]. For me, saying 'sayang siya' is a way of looking down on other people, only it is masked with a dash of sympathy. People are products of what and who they are, of their choices, and of their experiences, so we have no right to say this, either of other people or ourselves. And let us remember, and I do hope we realize this, that people might actually be where they should and want to be. No life is a waste."

Even though I'm back in school right now, where half the population is 10 years younger than I am, I still have no regrets about the past 5 years. I have learned a lot during those years, and most of those lessons are things that I don't get to learn in school. Heck, yung mga kahinaan ko sa school, and especially sa thesis, I learned in the office and in the theater. Konti lang ang matututunan mo sa stage management in school back then, and I was so grateful for the hands-on experience I got in TP. I learned how to be more persuasive, and how to talk to people in the workplace. I also learned how to find my way around the metro. Syempre hindi naman pwede na may kotse palagi or sasakay na lang lagi ng taxi. And sometimes I can't believe that I actually learned how to run the office on my own during those times that I have to be the only one in charge. I even learned how to finally wear my heart on my sleeve, and it happened during and after workshops. Plus I learned how to make certain decisions, plus a lot more lessons. And all those helped make me grow more as a person. So I don't believe na "sayang" ako in the long run.